I shouldn't bitch so much.

I seem to get a lot of blog mileage out of bitching about work. Back when I worked for Machinery, Inc., I didn't bitch enough. That place deserved my full wrath. But now that I'm back at my cool old job, I really don't have much room to complain. I've got a great boss, excellent cow-orkers, a flexible schedule, and free beer and gummi worms on Thursday afternoons in the summer. Hell, I even got a really nice raise on my birthday. We even have some great parties in the office from time to time, where stuff like this happens:What's not to love?

I think I figured out my problem; I need more of a challenge. I recently saw a blurb on TV where an expert claimed that adults who challenge themselves with new things like learning a new language have a lower incidence of dementia and Alzheimer's Disease. Exercise my brain at the same office where I can also feel free to pass out on the floor. Makes perfect sense to me.

Tech support OCD

I was reading THIS, which reminded me of a bunch of little quirks and habits that I have when working with other people's computers.
- Messy desktops. If you've got a pile of files and folders all over your desktop, I have to restrain myself from cleaning up your mess. I don't understand how you can keep your shit straight when it's all over the place like that.
- Twisty phone cords. If your phone cord is all tangled up and twisty, I have to straighten it before I can leave your desk.
- Crud on the bottom of your mouse. If your mouse has dirt on the bottom of it that slows it down on the mousepad, I have to clean it off before I can leave your desk.
- Mac users with missing icons on their dock. If your Mac's dock has a bunch of question marks in it, I have to get rid of them before I can leave your desk.
- Windows users with a screwed up taskbar. If you've got your quick launch icons all covered up on the taskbar, and the task bar is three rows high when you never open more than one app at a time, I have to straighten that shit out before I can leave your desk.
- Open windows. If you've got three dozen Windows Explorer or Finder windows open, I have to minimize, hide, or close all that crap before I can leave your desk.

Those are my worst OCD pet peeves. I have more.

I sometimes work with children. Petty children.

A big project I'm participating in at work is a move of about 30 people from our main building to a new space in another building just across the sidewalk. The move is to accommodate growth, and the new space is quite nice. I would be happy to move over there myself - it's a pretty cool setup, designed by a talented architect.

One of the higher-level people moving is a person who has worked at the company for quite a long time and has since gone pretty much batshit insane with office politics and who slots where in the office pecking order. Ever since this person found out that they would be moving, they've nit-picked every last ridiculous detail of the construction of the space, to the extent of hassling the project managers on a daily basis.

Over the last few days, I've been stopped in the hallways repeatedly by various people, all of whom work under batshit insane person, and they've all asked me the same question: "Where will my office be in the new space?" Since I haven't yet committed the 3rd grade seating chart to memory, I've only been able to give out vague info to those who have asked, and I've been starting to wonder where all the questions are coming from.

Until tonight, when this email from the nit-picker hit my inbox:

Currently there are only a few people who are aware of where they are sitting in the new building. We have a lot of inquiring minds right now so please do not share the chart you have with anyone.

Thanks

Q.

What the fuck? I can't think of ANY valid reason for keeping this information secret. Maybe if we worked for the CIA, but for fuck's sake, we make ads selling cars, recliners, cameras and un-tasty energy bars. What are we worried about? Ze Germans?

Why not come out and just admit that you can't manage your department, and that you've let the situation devolve to the point where you're unable to wrangle a bunch of screaming ten year olds?

Badger?

I was at work today, having a perfectly civil conversation with my boss in his office, when a woman I work with barged in and told me I have hair like a badger.I was caught too off-guard by this to come back with a witty retort; all I managed was a "Gee, thanks. I think." She tried to laugh it off, but it got all awkward for a moment before she asked my boss a question about something unrelated to what *I* was discussing with him before she bulldozed in.

How fast would I get punted in the nuts by women if I went around comparing their hair to that of small ugly creatures? "Hey there, nice innocent lady - your hair looks like an otter." *PUNT*

Even if my hair DOES look like a badger, I don't think I want people telling me so.

I am not my job.

My resume has been online and relatively up-to-date on all the popular career sites for a few years now. I get calls on it from time to time, and something a recruiter said to me on a recent call reminded me of an article I read about the dangers of blogging about work, and how it can have a negative impact on one's job search. I think about that article often (I'd link to it, but I can't find it now), and I've even considered pulling this blog down for fear of someone using my thoughts against me. The scenario I see in my mind is an evil HR flunky Googling me and poking around here, then using it as an excuse to toss my resume in the circular file. Cue hapless tuba riff. But then, I always return to one thought:

If a company doesn't hire me because of what I write here, then that's not a company I want to work for.

Sure, it's easy for me to say that now, in a time when I'm not desperate for a job. But I'm a strong believer in things happening for a reason, and I would much rather stay at my happy-but-underpaid job than to shutter this blog. This little collection of posts has become a small yet significant piece of who I am, and I won't give it up that easily. Even if it means losing out on a fatter paycheck. I've got principles, yo!

HR=evil

I'm startin' the NaBloPoMo thing a day early, only because I've got something buggin' me today. I should probably save this topic for a day when I can't think of anything.

Nah.


Why are "Human Resources" departments always evil? I have yet to work for a company where the HR department was staffed by decent human beings. Sure, I understand that HR needs to put the needs of the company ahead of the employees, and that means sometimes having to be the bad guy. What I don't understand is why the people who work in HR seem like they'd sell their own grandmother off if it meant an extra buck for The Company.