Various annoyances.

Not really a serious post, just a few things that have been getting under my skin as of late.

1. People who make a mad dive across six freeway lanes for the carpool lane entrance, then drive slower than traffic in the regular lanes. This one confounds me, and it seems to be perpetrated by hybrid drivers more than anyone else. If you're tryin' to hypermile, prove a point about the speed limit, or something equally retarded, do it in the slow lane, ya cocknocker.

2. Coupons and other time-consuming nonsense in the supermarket express line. If you've gotta get three cartons of smokes, a roll of quarters, and eight packs of 13 cent stamps with your fistful of coupons and your 11 other items in the 12-items-or-less line, get the hell out of the express.

3. Babysitting otherwise smart people. I know I've bitched about this here before, but there seems to be a rash of smart people calling the helpline at work for problems they could easily figure out their smart selves if they were to give it ten seconds of clear thought. But they'd rather call the helpline and make us walk to their desk and click the mouse for them instead. One helpline call I took last week didn't even require me to stop walking as I went by the user's desk, but she just wasn't havin' it when I tried to help her over the phone.

4. Beck. Am I the only one who doesn't like Beck? I get the feeling I am, since I've heard the phrase "I can't believe you don't like Beck!" about six times in the last couple months. That makes me despise his Scientologist ass even more.

5. Recent chick flicks. Normally, a chick flick now and then doesn't bother me and I'll happily watch if it has a good story. Lately, it seems like chick flicks have gone on estrogen overload. Made of Honor looks like it requires ovaries to enjoy, and Mamma Mia! might just give a guy menstrual cramps. I won't even mention Sex and the City. No mention whatsoever.

6. My own fat gut. I'm really sick of the beer gut I've got going, and I'm tired of my lack of motivation to get rid of it. I turn 37 in a few days, and I really just don't want to have this spare tire anymore. It's not like I even drink all that much beer, or eat all that much junk food. If I were to track calories, I'm sure I'd discover that I just eat portions that are too large. I'd love to blame it on the restaurant culture of huge plates of food, but really - it's just my gluttony.

7. Bashing the gear. My cow-orkers and I work pretty hard to give our users good computers and a solid network to make their jobs as easy as possible. When you do nothing but bitch about how shitty your computer is, but fall silent when I press you for specific examples of errors, I take that as a slam on me and the job I do. I don't wander around the interactive department yelling about how much the website sucks. Show me the same courtesy, fucktard. I know it's cool and/or hip to complain about how your computer blows, but unless you've got something tangible for me to work with to fix it for you, shut the hell up.

8. Ingrown hairs. My follicles have been rebelling against me lately. I've had two ingrown nostril hairs in the last month. Damn things hurt like a beyotch, besides making my nose look disfigured.