D
Duff. My cat has many names. His full name is Gleadom's Duffy O'Flynn of Lee Way, but that's a bit of a mouthful, so I call him Duff, among a few other names:
Big D
The Doof
Duffalamadingdong
The D
Zee Bigga Dee
He's one of the best looking cats I've ever known, and damn cool to boot.
Driving. I love to drive. I don't even mind traffic, unless I'm running late or people are being rude. I am quite fond of driving fast, especially on closed courses and racetracks. Here's a little video of me breaking a racecar:This was from a few years ago, but I just found the video clip a few days ago and uploaded it to YouTube. That was a Roos Racing school at Virginia Int'l Raceway, and even though I broke that particular car, I still had a blast. Driving is one of those things that I hope never becomes obsolete - I never want my car to drive for me or for a robot to take over the task.
DWI. I have a college story about the time I once got stopped for DWI in Tucson. It was late, and I decided to hop in my old truck and get a taco at Taco Bell. As I get to the 'Bell, I see that I was too late - they just closed. So, I made a U-turn at the next intersection and headed back home. Across the street from the Taco Bell is a McDonald's, and lo and behold, they're still open! But I didn't realize they were still open 'til it was too late to turn into the parking lot. So I made a U-turn at the next intersection, and then another U-turn at the Taco Bell intersection (the street had a divider) to get back to the McD's. Just as I pull into the McD's parking lot, a TPD squad car came wheelin' into the lot and boxed me into the parking space. Mr. Officer ran my license, my registration, and for 15 minutes, ran me through the battery of stupid human tricks that supposedly proved that I was, oddly enough, sober. Count backwards from 100 by sixes, recite the alphabet backwards, walk the straight line, tilt my head back and touch my nose, etc. etc. After all that, Mr. Officer looked a little frustrated and said "We've got a portable breathalyzer in the car. If you pass that, you can go." I wanted to say "Shit, why didn't you tell me that 20 minutes ago?" But I didn't say anything. I blew a .003, and I think that was from a beer I'd had about 5 hours earlier. Mr. Officer was obviously frustrated now, as I seemed to have wasted his time. He wrote me a ticket for an improper turn and sent me on my way. The McD's closed before I could get in.
Big D
The Doof
Duffalamadingdong
The D
Zee Bigga Dee
He's one of the best looking cats I've ever known, and damn cool to boot.Driving. I love to drive. I don't even mind traffic, unless I'm running late or people are being rude. I am quite fond of driving fast, especially on closed courses and racetracks. Here's a little video of me breaking a racecar:This was from a few years ago, but I just found the video clip a few days ago and uploaded it to YouTube. That was a Roos Racing school at Virginia Int'l Raceway, and even though I broke that particular car, I still had a blast. Driving is one of those things that I hope never becomes obsolete - I never want my car to drive for me or for a robot to take over the task.
DWI. I have a college story about the time I once got stopped for DWI in Tucson. It was late, and I decided to hop in my old truck and get a taco at Taco Bell. As I get to the 'Bell, I see that I was too late - they just closed. So, I made a U-turn at the next intersection and headed back home. Across the street from the Taco Bell is a McDonald's, and lo and behold, they're still open! But I didn't realize they were still open 'til it was too late to turn into the parking lot. So I made a U-turn at the next intersection, and then another U-turn at the Taco Bell intersection (the street had a divider) to get back to the McD's. Just as I pull into the McD's parking lot, a TPD squad car came wheelin' into the lot and boxed me into the parking space. Mr. Officer ran my license, my registration, and for 15 minutes, ran me through the battery of stupid human tricks that supposedly proved that I was, oddly enough, sober. Count backwards from 100 by sixes, recite the alphabet backwards, walk the straight line, tilt my head back and touch my nose, etc. etc. After all that, Mr. Officer looked a little frustrated and said "We've got a portable breathalyzer in the car. If you pass that, you can go." I wanted to say "Shit, why didn't you tell me that 20 minutes ago?" But I didn't say anything. I blew a .003, and I think that was from a beer I'd had about 5 hours earlier. Mr. Officer was obviously frustrated now, as I seemed to have wasted his time. He wrote me a ticket for an improper turn and sent me on my way. The McD's closed before I could get in.
posted by steve at 10:07 PM
3 Comments:
hey, i can only say the alphabet backwards if i'm drunk!
ryan's legal tips on the DWI thing are that if you get pulled over, before they even get into those stupid tests, say "i agree submit to a blood alcohol test" if they were to do it, they'd have to bring you to a hospital, and they know you'd pass if you're offering to do it.
Thanks for the... um... tip, Brie.
Sounds like that cop was more concerned for your health, and was just killing time until McD's closed.
Ladies & gentlemen, Mr. Wilford Brimley:
"Diabeetus."
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