Random stuff.

I haven't posted for the last few days because I'm getting over a delightful little fight with what I believe was stomach flu. I'll spare you the gastrointestinal details of that one - not pretty. Now, poor Melba seems to have come down with something similar to what I had, but I contend that her misery pales in comparison. She is free to disagree, but she will be wrong.

Anyway, my post-Christmas has been otherwise entirely uneventful. I've been thinking of resolutions and predictions to make for the upcoming new year, one of which entails the creation of a brand new sub-blog (as if this one wasn't boring enough). Tune in tomorrow for the thrilling conclusion.

I have learned that I suck at poker. To be honest, I always knew that I sucked at poker, but last night I cemented that knowledge firmly in my mind when I managed to lose $40 to a group of my friends in the span of about two hours. And I can't even blame it on alcohol.
I'm amazed at the weird weather here. As I write this, it is 43 in Minneapolis and 40 at my mom's home in Phoenix. How often does that happen?

I need to replace front wheel bearings on the MelbaJetta soon. Any of my Minneapolis-area readers care to let me borrow their heated garage for a few hours? I promise to swear quietly.

Mmm. Hair clog.

One of the more delightful perks of living with a woman who sports long hair and three cats that shed profusely is the occasional opportunity to use my drain snake on the bathtub drain. I didn't take a picture of the mammoth lump of hair/fur/whatever that emerged on the end of the snake, but it did look something like this:Mmm... Chewy. One small bit of glee I get from this chore is the opportunity to re-purpose one of my all time favorite movie quotes:

Enough is enough! I have had it with this motherfucking snake in this motherfucking drain!

I amuse myself.

Mellow Christmas

As referenced in a previous post, Melba and I enjoyed a low key day at home yesterday. She whipped up two good soups, split pea with ham (plus beer bread)for me:Mmm... split pea.
And chicken tortilla for herself:
On another note, I have decided that I very much enjoy receiving gift certificates for Christmas. Sure, the unbridled glee of opening a present is reduced, but that glee comes back (and then some) when I get to shop for something I really want. Even better when the card comes from a store where I can buy delightful electronic trinketry. Mmm... trinketry.

Law = nutty?

In the morning, Melba listens to a radio station that is best described as the Lifetime channel in radio form. This morning, they had listeners call in with sightings of people wearing strange clothing and multiple people called about a guy who wears tights while walking the Minneapolis skyways. Later on, someone who knows the guy called in. She started off with how he's funky and eccentric, but the punchline to her call was "...and he's a lawyer!"

This got me wondering. I have a few friends who are lawyers, and not a one of them could honestly object to being described as "offbeat".

My question: Does law school or being a lawyer make a person weird, or does the profession attract strange people?

Merry Christmas!

Melba and I are enjoying a subdued Christmas day at home. She's busy in the kitchen cooking various soups and breads, and I'm dialing up Christmas music on the iTunes.

I'd like to share one of my favorite Christmas albums - Ultra Lounge: Christmas Cocktails (Pt. 2):My favorite track is #10, "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" by Jimmy McGriff, which I can describe perfectly in four words: Christmas in Dodger Stadium.
I keep meaning to pick up parts one and three - based on past experience with the Ultra Lounge series, they're undoubtedly excellent.

Anyway, I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas. I love you all.

White Christmas!

I think I'm finally getting in the mood for Christmas. I've been a pissy little bitch these last few weeks, in need of some good holiday cheer. As if on cue:The billboard is just serendipitous. (Click for larger)

My time in reality TV

Back in January of '04, I spent 5 days working on a reality TV show called "The Littlest Groom". As the name so subtly implies, it was just like "The Bachelor", except with little people.

The blog I created to document my observations and droll witticisms is what started me on this whole crazy blog thing, and now that almost three years have passed, I think it is safe for me to let this blog go public (hopefully Fox won't sue me). I hope you enjoy it.

link

Aww.

This just makes me want to pinch both of their cheeks.

A Lebowski moment

Melba and I went bowling this afternoon after sleeping in late this morning. We arrived at Elsie's, our favorite bowling alley and spotted this gem in the parking lot:There's just something very The Dude about an old rusty Pontiac with a bowling trophy hood ornament.

Search engine fun

I was looking at the reports for this blog to see which search engine keywords people were using to find this thing, and one term way down on the bottom of the list made me cringe:
"clutch repair gallup nm"
Oh, you poor, poor bastards. Interestingly, I also get hits from such odd things as "janitor pictures", "white castle", and "jean claude van dam pics".
I love teh intarwebs.

Sammy.

Melba rocks. She makes me killer sandwiches for lunch (we're out of tomatoes today). She also makes great soups, since a guy can't eat the same thing every day. And did I mention she took me to see "A Christmas Carol" at the Guthrie? She did. Hell, she even did a bunch of my laundry yesterday - how cool is that?

Party.

Yeah, I drank a little too much. 'Tis the season.

Sprite.

Time for another soda taste test! Today we tested American Sprite, sweetened with high fructose corn syrup:
Versus Sprite from Ecuador, sweetened with plain 'ol sugar:
We're nothing if not highly scientific taste testers, following established procedures and documentation guidelines. Or, we lined 'em up and started drinkin':
CubeMate and I were truly surprised. American Sprite (AS) put in a surprisingly strong showing against Ecuadorian Sprite (ES). We preferred the snappier taste and slightly stronger carbonation of ES over AS, but the gulf between the two sodas was not wide at all. In fact, I would be hard pressed to identify either of them without the other to compare to.

We posit that Sprite's relative lack of dependence on sweeteners (compared to a soda like Coke) might be why we found less of a difference in taste between these two contenders.

We'd choose Ecuadorian Sprite with real sugar every time, but this fight was not as one-sided as we had anticipated - American Sprite put up quite a fight.

The Three Stooges

Melba and I are parents to three children. Three furry little four legged bastards that eat and sleep and shed and fill the litterbox, but damn... they're cool. Melba brought Stooges #1 and #2 into the relationship, I brought #3.

Stooge #1 - Murphy (a.k.a. Murph, Squirf, Moo)Murph is about 6 years old, and she's the mellowest of the three. She's alternated being an indoor and indoor/outdoor cat, and she's definitely happier when she can go outside. She gets along pretty well with both of the other two.

Stooge #2 - Moe (a.k.a. Moe the Hoe, Moetorhead, Moelicious, Moesha)Moe is about 8 years old, and of the three, she's the angry bitch on a broomstick. But she's cute and she loves Melba. Doesn't much care for anyone else. Hates Duff.

Stooge #3 - Duff (a.k.a. Gleadom's Duffy O'Flynn of Lee Way, Big D, Doof, Duffage, Big Gray Bastard)Duff is the old man of the bunch, born on 4/29/94, and he's about as big as the other two put together. He's a purebred Maine Coon and much like a supermodel, he looks good but isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. He likes both of the girls, but Murph could care less about him and Moe openly hates him. He taunts and chases them around the house at 2am.

Fog.

Today was a foggy one in Minneapolis, and I was up in the middle of it at work. On Tuesdays and Wednesdays my office is in the TPS building, and I'm up on the 29th floor - up in the clouds on a day like today (click for larger):This picture looks a little bit like I felt today.

Rainy drive.

I went for a drive in the rain with my camera last night, and set it up on a tripod so that it was looking over my shoulder as I drove (click for larger).I like how the windshield wipers almost disappear. If you look close, you can see a slight shadow where they change direction at the top of the sweep. You can also see that I'm speeding a little, if you look close.

Buildings, food, cont'd...

Continuing my recent obsession with photographing Minneapolis, I shot this not too long ago from the roof of the building that houses my studio. This intersection is Lake Street and Lyndale Avenue; for those not familiar with the area, "LynLake" is somewhat of a hipster area (click for larger).A few readers have commented about St. Paul; I must admit that I really don't know St. Paul very well, so I hope to get over there to do some photo exploration followed by chicken pot pie. Excellent suggestions. Woot.

Melba and I have 3 cats, so we buy cat food in bulk and keep it in a big bin before shoveling the daily allotment into their feed trough. For some reason, Moe thinks the food in the storage bin is always more interesting than the food in the dish. Same food.

Sunset.

Another sunny and mild day in Minneapolis, capped by an excellent sunset:(click for larger version) If winter here was always like it was today, I'd have no problem with this city.

More songs about buildings and food

The weather was extra pleasant yesterday afternoon, so before I caught a bus home I strolled around downtown a little bit with my camera. One of my favorite buildings is Marquette Plaza, which used to be the Minneapolis Federal Reserve Bank. I like it because its the largest structure of its kind; the center section is supported by cables that hang down from the two ends, much like a suspension bridge.Back when the Federal Reserve occupied the building, there was a two story gap between the landscape and the start of the center section of the building, which emphasized the unique construction. The new owners filled that part in back in 2002 after the feds moved out.

The Minneapolis Public Library is one of the newest buildings downtown, and I could probably spend a day photographing it from all angles. I quickly ran out of sunlight, but got a couple of decent shots before it got too dark:

Jeane Kirkpatrick

stains: Jeane Kirkpatrick has died
me: Wow.
me: Poisoned with radioactive substances by the Kremlin?
stains: Presumably not
stains: link
stains: I almost literally knocked her over one day on a sidewalk in front of the AEI
stains: She stepped out of the garage to go to the door and I was right there -- she just popped out right in front of me
me: Which set into motion a string of events that today has finally caused her demise...
stains: That's right -- Strom Thurmond did the same thing and he's gone now, too. And former Commerce Secretary Ron Brown made fun of my hairline once, and look what happened to him!
me: All dead.
stains: Fuck with me and you're going down!
me: You're the political grim reaper.
me: Please tell me G.W. Bush gave you a wedgie in a capital mens room once
stains: Oh, wouldn't that be a dream come true. ;-)
me: Indeed.

More downtown.

Here's a view from the building I work in when I'm not at TPS. It's a clear, sunny, cold day in Minneapolis today.

Driving Music.

There's driving music, and there is Driving Music. Regular ol' driving music is stuff that sounds good in the car; it can be a catchy rhythm or something that makes me ponder life's realities. This is far different from Driving Music; the stuff that causes a reflexive and satisfying "whump" as my right foot pins the gas to the floor.

Talking Heads - Take Me To The River
I remember driving from Los Angeles to Sacramento a few years ago, passing through The Grapevine and the Central Valley on the 5 at 2am when this song came on. I wish I could describe the feeling of 140 miles an hour on a dark, empty interstate in the late night desert, completely buzzed out of my mind from the music and machinery and the sublime tingle of fast.

Chemical Brothers - Galvanize
This song reminds me of riding through Death Valley in April on a motorcycle. The happy solitude of the wide open desert, just me and my thoughts until the song begins with that weird electronic falling cascade and those first few beats. Then the persistent roar of wind and sound and vibration with the throttle open just as wide as the desert, with the pavement passing inches below my feet in a blur.
AC/DC - Rock And Roll Ain't Noise Pollution
Stoplight waiting, those first few bars of just slow... slow... pure blues guitar, Brian Johnson lights a cigarette and calls out "hey all you middlemen..." the lone snare kicks in... waiting... "Rock and roll ain't no riddle man... to me it makes good good sense - good sense" getting ready... run the revs up to 4,000 GREEN LIGHT sidestep the clutch WHAM rhythm guitar hits like a concrete fist redline shift second gear tires chirp bite tempo builds guitar drums punishing redline shift third "Heavy decibels are playing on my guitar" wind noise joins in redline shift fourth "We got vibrations coming up from the floor" acceleration slower now wind noise building to a roar triple digits shift fifth geography a blur chorus "Rock and roll ain't noise pollution..."
The 22 second section of this song between 0:45 and 1:07 is just about the purest distillation of rock and roll that I know. Awe inspiring.
Underworld - Rez
Someday in the not-too-distant future I will own a dedicated track car, and I will listen to this song as I turn one beautiful, consistent lap after another.
Johnny Cash - Rusty Cage
Johnny Cash's version of this song kicks ass all over Soundgarden's original. And I like Soundgarden's original. Cash's version is just THAT good. Halfway into the song when it pauses and the electric guitar joins the acoustic, and Johnny sings "when the forest burns along the road / like God's eyes in my headlights / when the dogs are lookin for their bones / and it's raining icepicks on your steel shore" man... that's some music to DRIVE to.

Foshay.

I spend my Tuesdays and Wednesdays on the 29th floor of the TPS building (I love that name - too bad I don't work for Initech). I've been checking out the view every few hours today, waiting for a gap in the clouds - and I finally got a small one.I like this view of the Foshay Tower, a 77 year old building amidst modern glass architecture (click on it for a larger view). Trivia tidbit: "It remains one of the tallest concrete skyscrapers to this day, second only in height to the Empire State Building in New York City."

Stumbles, Crush, Great mood

Got on the bus this morning, and just as I was about to sit down the bus driver jabbed at the brake. He did it just as I was facing the back of the bus, so I didn't see it coming and my fat head spiked the back of the seat. I'm sure I looked like a 'tard to the people sitting behind me, stumbling into my seat.

In other news, my recent soda pop fascination (fetish?) continues with Orange Crush. The Supermercado! carries *real* Orange Crush, also from Ecuador, which of course is made from real sugar. DAMN! This stuff tastes just like I remember Orange Crush tasting when I was a kid. So sugary and delightful, no sweaters on my teeth from the evil high fructose corn syrup.And it even comes in a cool returnable bottle that's been used about 12,000 times. Dig it.

Thirdly, and most importantly, I'm in a great mood today - for no apparent reason.

Tannenbaum trials and tribulations (and Ecuador)

Yesterday, Melba came home from work to find the Christmas tree tipped over. She immediately blamed the cats, and was gearing up to dispense a vicious beating to each of the three perpetrators. We later figured out that the tree was front-heavy and it had tipped over because our tree stand was a cheap piece of tin. No beatings this time.

So I hit up 3 Target stores in search of a new stand, and once I found a store that had one in stock I splurged and picked up some of those new nifty LED Christmas lights too.

By the time I got home and singlehandedly got the tree set up in the new stand, I was done. Wiped out. Cashed. Finito. I left the ornamental reorganization and disbursement to Melba, who did a spectacular job of rebuilding the tree.

On a completely unrelated note, I discovered that there is a tiny little "Supermercado!" about 40 yards away from my bus stop that carries Coke imported from Ecuador (with pure cane sugar, of course). Does it get any better than that? I think not.

No reason.

Quiet day in the office, empty whiteboard.

Mexican Coke

Loyal readers of this blog already know that I'm a fan of Mexican Coke, having espoused it's virtues in a previous post. Melba made a trip to the Midtown Global Market on Saturday and bought me four bottles of Mexican Coke, two bottles each from two different vendors. I brought two bottles to work with me today, and just happened to grab one of each. It wasn't until I examined them closely that I realized that they came from two different bottlers in Mexico and each had a slightly different content/nutrition label.

I don't really trust the labels that are slapped on these bottles - they're obviously put on as an afterthought to comply with US FDA nutrition labeling requirements, and are immediately suspect when they list "corn syrup and/or sugar" as an ingredient.

A perfect opportunity for a head-to-head taste test!Here we have the two bottles of Mexican Coke, one from a bottler in Saltillo (in Coahuila, a northern state) and the other from a bottler in Acapulco (in Guerrero, a southern state).That's the Saltillo cap and label, and......the Acapulco cap and label. We had to use a staple remover as a bottle opener. Not pretty.

So my cubemate and I lined up the two Mexican cokes and a 16 oz. American Coke out of the company soda (pop) machine for the test. The results:

Me:
1. Coahuila Mexican Coke
2. Acapulco Mexican Coke
79. American Coke

Cubemate:
1. Acapulco Mexican Coke
2. Coahuila Mexican Coke
91. American Coke

We both agreed that the Coahuila Mexican Coke has a slightly subtler taste to the Acapulco Coke's snappier Coke flavor. I preferred the subtler version, cubemate likes the snappier version. But we also agreed that they are quite similar and the differences tough to discern in anything other than a head-to-head taste test.

After alternating between the two Mexican Cokes, we braced ourselves for the intense mediocrity of the American Coke. Personally, I was surprised at how bland the American version is in comparison. I expected the high fructose corn syrup to lend a much stronger flavor bite, but we agreed that the American Coke is actually quite bland when compared to The Real Thing^TM sugar sweetened Cokes. Not to mention the filmy tooth sweaters left behind by HFCS. Yecch.

First snowfall of the season

For all the bitching I do about the cloudy and bitter cold weather, I do enjoy the snow. I wish it would snow more often.

Festive.

Thanks to the best realtor in the world, Melba and I got a free Christmas tree Saturday. Melba pretty much did all of the tree trimming, with the exception of troubleshooting the usual issues with the lights. I'm surprisingly patient with misbehaving wads of tangled Christmas lights. Melba's handiwork:Ahh... very nice. Didn't take long for Duff to make himself at home:

Chilly. Fun. Pizza. Malt.

Woke up this morning to a bunch of frost on the windows and a temp of 7. It's now 2:30 in the afternoon with a balmy high of 12.The 5 day forecast says we won't get above freezing until Friday. Woot.

Yesterday's fun included 5 hours of replacing the dashboard in Melba's Jetta. It needed replacing after some dirtbag stole her car stereo on Thanksgiving and destroyed the dashboard getting the radio out. As a reward for my handiness, Melba took me out for pizza last night, and I picked Cafe Bicko. Cafe Bicko is pretty dumpy inside, but godDAMN do they have good pizza. Good pizza more than makes up for any decor deficiencies. Anyone who loves good DEEP dish pizza (like I do) needs to give Cafe Bicko a try. Look at this badboy:Now THAT is some DEEP DISH pizza. Orgasmic.

After the 'za, Melba treated me to a butterscotch malt at The Malt Shop. It had been about 15 years since my last visit to The Malt Shop, and I gotta say I was pleased to see it hadn't changed a bit. I've probably been to that place a hundred times, and the malt was just as good as I'd remembered. Apologies for the poor quality picture: